“One of the best things we can do in the meantime is build bridges-rather than walls-between ourselves and our kids when they fail in these areas.” (Right Click)
“So my kid has messed up on social media, now what?” This reality might be the greatest fear parents have in allowing their kid to have social media. Maybe they were dishonest, sneaky, inappropriate, etc. Whatever the case, what should you do now?
Most likely the answer has something to do with having a difficult conversation with your kid. Even though this will not be a “fun” dialogue, here are five quick tips/reminders to help soften this hard conversation:
Timing is everything.
Challenging conversations should not happen directly before or after something challenging (i.e., work, bedtime, sports game, school). Your reaction will majorly affect their response. If you see a problem, sit on it for a little bit to think about what you want to say and see as an outcome.
Ultimately, what’s as important as how many times our kids fail or succeed is how we respond to them in those moments.” (Right Click)
Believe the best about your kid.
Yes, it was their fault, but not entirely. Put yourself in their shoes; all the pressures they have as a kid/teen, ever-changing hormones, and their mind not being fully developed yet all have a part in how your kid will act or react.
Stick to your agreements regarding consequences.
Kids need (not want) us to follow through with providing agreed upon consequences for their wrongful behavior. This helpsbuild character and realistic expectations when one chooses irresponsibility.
Use mistakes as springboards.
Even though consequences are still in play, use their mistake as an opportunity to have a deeper, root-based conversation on the struggle at hand.
Emphasize the “why” over the “what”.
Don’t we want our kids to WANT to do the right thing more than feeling like they HAVE to do the right thing? If so, we need to focus more on their heart and not their behavior, showing them the why behind the weight of the issue at hand.
I can’t begin to tell you what hangs in the balance of how you handle these types of conversations. It truly matters! Your timing, follow-through, facial expressions, tone, posture, choice of words and heart all come into play on if your kid will see you as a safe place. The more they see you as a safe place, the more they will come to you in the hard times of life.
Wondering how to take the first step in raising socially smart kids? Download our free book here.
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